A Package of Seeds (from Oh Boy!, 1917)

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Lyrics

Beautiful girls are so scarce, I have found;
There never seems half enough to go ’round.
I’ve often wished that in gardens they grew,
Warmed by the sunshine and wet by the dew.
If I’d a garden where girlies would grow,
You’d find me there with my spade and my hoe.
My little garden, I never would leave,
I’d work from daybreak until the eve.
Daytime and night, I would cheerfully toil.
I’d kill the blight and the blight and encourage the soil.
And when at last, I had cleared it of weeds,
I’d go and buy me a package of seeds.

All through the winter, they’d lie there below,
Tucked snugly under a mantle of snow.
April, at last, warmth and showers, would bring,
And all my flowers would bloom in the Spring.
Primrose and Myrtle and Lilys I’d see.
They’d be there growing for no one but me.
Delightful creatures: a garden of girls
With fairest features and lovely curls.
All ’round my garden, in rapture, I’d roam.
I’d stay all day there all day there and never go home.
I can’t imagine what more a man needs
Than lots of ground and a package of seeds.